My outlook for myself has always been on the glass half empty side of things. For others, I'm always the one that got middle of the night calls from friends who needed to pour their hearts out. They knew I would always pick up, listen, and give them positive advice, especially when it came to them believing in themselves and the good of a God who works all things for their betterment. But I have a hard time applying this to myself. I never lacked a belief in God, as many do, but in myself. I've gotten much better in the last few years, but I couldn't help myself to think that things were going too well 2 weeks ago when my future mother-in-law threw me a surprise bridal shower. I've only been in Florida for a year and a half, but there was a resaurant full of 40 ladies and a table busting with gifts all for me. AND my parents flew down as a further surprise. We had a lovely time and I thought...I have the most wonderful, caring, kind, intelligent, faithful fiance, with an awesome family I love and who love me, great family and friends back home, a big wedding planned, an amazing European honeymoon...and that old voice...things are going too well...
The Bible tells us the rain falls on us all. Just because you are a Christian, doesn't mean bad things won't happen to you. You may be even more attacked by the Enemy, but what we do with the suffering that comes to us is what sets us apart. We offer it up, and unite ourselves more closely to our Blessed Lord on the cross.
I had to keep this in mind when I got the call the following Monday morning from my doctor about some test results. I'm still showing signs of weird cervical cells. It could be cancer. I have to see a specialist. The one big monkey wrench in all of my golden plans. Will I be able to make love to my husband? Will I be able to have children? Will I live? And all just a month and a half before my wedding.
And so...I take up this small cross, and I follow.
