"True, in the sinfullness of men concupiscence plays a more conspicuous part; but, nevertheless, it falls short of being the primal evil. That is why in the Gospels, even the sin of impurity, however grave, is less serious than that of pride. Christ denounced pride and obduracy in far more incisive terms than the sins of the flesh."
I'll never forget the first time I read the Prayer of Humility. I was like...holy crap! That's a bit much! I was told a long time ago to never pray for patience or humility because God didn't just give you patience and humility, but opportunities TO BE patient and humble. Huge difference, and occasions I usually blew to H-E double hockey sticks. I think it was normal as a teen to have had so much anger outwardly because of the inner turmoil of trying to figure out who the heck I was and why and what I was supposed to do with it. I've always had a short fuse, road rage, etc. It never took much to set me off. I chalked it up to being Irish and Sicilian. One of my dad's favorite games is to see in how few words he can get me spitting mad. He can do it in less than 10.
I've come a long way since then, but sometimes on a bad day when I'm tired or PMSing, I can relapse and a small thing that wouldn't bother me at all on a normal day will put me through the roof. It happens. I always feel really bad about it, like a kid who is a grown up now and knows better.
Two weeks ago, in confession with my favorite priest at my parish, we talked about my sins of pride. God has been bringing me into an awareness of my selfishness in the last couple of years. My priests always tell me to think of others, always of other as Jesus did. It's tough. It's easy to live as the center of our own universes, and to crown ourselves and live there forever, but the devil loves to keep us so wrapped up in our own worlds and make our problems seem so overwhelming and isolating that we fail to see Christ in each other or be Christ to others. I was always so focused on my past sins of impurity that I failed to realize my much more serious sins of pride. My priest pointed out how Jesus quickly forgave all sins of the flesh in the New Testament, "Go and sin no more," and pointed the sinner in the right direction, while sins of pride he spoke and rebuked extensively. I have been missing the forest for the trees. I realized how prideful it was to NOT be praying for humility! So, I've begun praying for these things, opportunities, humiliations...come what may. I'm on to you ;)
Prayer of HumilityO Jesus, meek and humble of heart,
Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, O Jesus.
That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be praised and I go unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may become holier than I,
provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
AMEN.